i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
