I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
