I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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