Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
