how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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