Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize