meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
