Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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