another moral hangover. fuck.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
