That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
