Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
