Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
