I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
