That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
