Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
