There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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