Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
