Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
