Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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