I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
