i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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