She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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