i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
