doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize