Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
