so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
