someone owes me an orgasm
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
