Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
