We're facebook friends in real life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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