I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize