I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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