I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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