I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
