is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
