im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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