I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
