You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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