Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
jump out the window naked night went bad
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