Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You are a genius and a whore.
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