Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've blown a few things in my day
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
