We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize