ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize