So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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