we have officially lost it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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