it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
