every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
