please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
