Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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