Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
