I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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