Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
