The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
