So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
