I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize