Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When are your genitals available?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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