Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
