she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
