tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
