Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
