I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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