You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I deserve this hangover.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
