I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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