Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
