I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We are all done wearing pants today
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
