11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
