idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
