Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
