If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
