Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
