Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
